Things That Occur to Me While Reading Historical Romance Novels

  • How do they kiss with that height difference?
  • Aren’t they freezing?
  • Just how big is this bed?
  • That’s not really feasible with the bathtub you just described.
  • Yes, I’m sure the servants just love them.
  • That’s a lot of tongue.
  • Does that bonnet come with a shepherd’s crook?
  • It only takes a couple of pins to hold up waist length hair?
  • Even in my own home, I’m so glad this is on Kindle and no one can see the cover, c.f. library books: “Mum, is Rules to Catch a Devilish Duke a kissing book?”
  • Wouldn’t her hair be stuck to them with sweat? Doesn’t her hair get caught underneath them?
  • Didn’t you have to provide your own sheets in hotels back then?
  • Historically speaking, shouldn’t this guy have some truly ridiculous facial hair?
  • She certainly got over her shyness quickly.
  • Aren’t nineteenth century settees too narrow for that sort of thing? It’s not from Crate and Barrel.
  • “Prinny”? I’m out.
  • You do not get to use “Lud” and “demme” AND “co*k” and “@ss”. Pick a side.
  • Shouldn’t she be wearing a corset? She would be wearing a corset.
  • You cannot make a gown by hand in 6 hours.
  • Seriously? He just licked the roof of her mouth?
  • That wouldn’t rip so easily. It would be several layers of fabric sewn together.
  • The shift would rip. I’ll give you that.
  • He’s sardonic and just called her “Sweetheart”? I am so in.
  • Their hips brushed while dancing? You just said he’s a foot taller than her.
  • Could she sit in his lap while wearing a bustle?
  • I do so love a marriage of convenience plot.
  • What is with that dress on the cover?
  • Yes, I’m sure all of “house wenches” are happy and safe.
  • I didn’t realise PTSD could be so selective in its outbursts.
  • She undid his belt? What the hell are you talking about?
  • That is not a pet that can be house-trained.
  • Bait and switch infertility: a romance author’s best friend.
  • Wouldn’t those chairs be for perching rather than draping?
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2 thoughts on “Things That Occur to Me While Reading Historical Romance Novels

  1. Malin January 21, 2013 at 5:20 PM Reply

    I too, have wondered how the heck you go about licking the roof of someone’s mouth. It seems tricky. Some of the excessively “open-mouthed” kissing tends to strike me as a bit squicky as well, mainly because I get the mental image of the dude opening his mouth wide enough to perform mouth to mouth, which isn’t exactly erotic.

  2. Prolixity Julien January 21, 2013 at 7:00 PM Reply

    In one of my first reviews, I went on at length about the whole Gene Simmons-y-ness of the kissing in romance novels. Uck.

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