Things That Occur to Me While Reading Contemporary Romance Novels

• I am so sick of billionaires. Can’t he just be really financially secure?
• I am even more sick of autocratic, dom billionaires.
• The nickname “Cherry” always sounds prurient.
• “Babe” and “Baby” are worse. Have they no imagination?
• I’ve worked in the C-suite of a major corporation. This is not how that works.
• Aren’t they freezing?
• Let’s be clear: He’s a tattooed biker billionaire military vet?
• PTSD isn’t just for historical romances anymore.
• I hate reunion plots. You broke up the first time for a reason.
• Can’t anyone just work in a regular office at a normal job?
• Why are all female fans called (buckle/puck etc.) bunnies?
• Isn’t it sexist to judge other female characters for having casual sex?
• This is the part where I consciously ignore all of my pro athlete stereotypes.
• Where do they get all this disposable income?
• Freakin’ dudebro sexism! “You’re such a girl, dude. Are you on your period?”
• Does everyone have a dead parent? Is this a Disney movie?
• I wish I could sardonically raise my eyebrow like people in these books always can.
• Not every guy has to have a tattoo.
• Falling in love with someone new doesn’t mean your other loves weren’t real.
• Do young women really use those words to refer to their body parts? Ew. Am I old?
• Landing a dream job in a competitive industry is so easy.
• Being good at math is the only requirement for becoming a zillionaire.
• Where are these men who want to lavish me with expensive presents?
• I’m glad I don’t need to understand football to read about its players.
• Clearly, the author said, “I’m going to show them 50 Shades done right!”
• I need to ignore the fact that they are the same age as my nieces and nephews.
• Just once, I’d love an awkward or indifferent step-parent nominee hero or heroine.

From Mallory Ortberg on The Toast:

• Men should have a TON of money but not care about it for even a SECOND, he should literally forget he even has money, he should whisk you away on a helicopter and then when you try to tip the pilot in cash he’s like “what are those weird little flat green dudes in your wallet?” because he doesn’t care about money at all even though he has so much of it.

From The Other Jane in the comments:

• I don’t get the “impromptu whisked away by a billionaire to a halfway deserted/private island” storyline. It seems like it would be so disruptive to the other person’s schedule.

I also have a list of things that occur to me while reading historical romance novels.

My reviews can be found on my complete reading list of books sorted by author or Author Commentary & The Tallies Shameful.